Greetings from rainy Northern Germany,
I just returned from a 10-day tour of Southern Germany (Mosel, the Black Forest, and Lake Constance)—lots of beautiful spots in this part of the country. Ten days were enough, though, and I am happy to return to our home and my routine.
Picture this: A family trip to the serene Black Forest, only to discover that escaping the noise is more challenging than expected. No matter where we hiked, we could often hear car engine noise from nearby roads or people doing a myriad of things that produced noise. Surrounded by people, nature's peaceful soundtrack is overshadowed by the buzz of human activity.
Germany, with its decentralized structure, boasts numerous medium-sized towns and communities. A speedy motorway network makes traveling to picturesque spots a piece of cake. But finding a quiet corner in this well-connected country? That's a different story. The engines' hum is never far away, even in the forest.
My wife, daughter, and I spent a significant amount of time together on this trip, much more than at home. The chilly weather kept us huddled in our campervan, seeking warmth and comfort whenever we weren’t out and about. My ladies like to talk and share all the time. So silent moments were scarce!
This recent trip revealed to me a startling truth: silence has become a rare commodity. As a result, we're drowning in noise. From the moment we wake up, we're bombarded by the constant clamor of the world around us. We've become addicted to stimulation and activity; in the process, we've forgotten the value of silence.
Even amidst nature, the sounds of engines and human activity were ever-present. It made me wonder, do we appreciate the power of silence and how to ensure those we care about can experience it too?
The power of silence
Silence, it turns out, is a potent force. Studies show quiet moments can lower blood pressure, decrease heart rate, and reduce stress hormones.
A 2006 study found that a 2-minute period of silence after listening to music significantly reduced subjects’ heart rate and blood pressure. Even compared to slow, relaxing music, silence resulted in better measures of heart health.
Silence also boosts cognitive abilities like focus, creativity, and problem-solving. Silence might be the key to unlocking a more balanced life.
At the University of Tübingen in southern Germany, psychologists studied more than 250 people who were “encouraged to engage in directionless contemplation or free-floating thinking” by sitting on their own in silence without anything to do for periods of 3 to 20 minutes.
The psychologists found that the benefits of free thinking include enhancing your imagination and making you feel better about yourself. However, many participants found it hard to let their minds wander. It was an underused ability.
But it doesn't stop there. Silence plays a critical role in communication, too. It conveys respect and agreement. Embracing silence creates space for reflection and more profound understanding during conversations.
Silence can also be an effective technique in less friendly discussions. Making the other person talk more than you usually reveals more about their intentions, the information they have and don’t have, and what affects them emotionally.
And do you realize that the universe is silent? Sound is only perceivable where there is air. Sound is air vibration. Most of the incredible and sometimes violent phenomena in the universe, the atomic fusion releasing energy in our sun, the stars collapsing to form black holes, and the asteroids colliding, happen in silence. Silence is the most common state in nature from this point of view.
Our challenge, then, is to rediscover the beauty of silence and integrate it into our lives.
I grew up in cities and was never an outdoors person. But in my twenties, I started hiking. On a hike up a small mountain in Lofoten (Northern Norway), I encountered pure silence once. This was the first time I felt inspired by silence. A silence that just jolted me to pay attention because it was so unusual.
At first, it felt alien, but soon, its power became apparent. There were no birds, no wind, and no people. I was on my own in a spectacular natural setting. It felt like my natural place in a sense. As the quiet surrounded me, I yearned for more time to savor its presence. But I had to hike down before dark.
When I returned to the hustle and bustle of my life in London, I often remembered this experience and wished to tap into it more frequently. But it was almost impossible in my previous life of open offices, conference calls, car traffic, and millions of people surrounding me.
Some people come to appreciate silence and pay to go to silent retreats. They need friction to impose silence and not give up the benefits of modern big-city life. They need help to have the chance to reflect or experience a dose of sensory peace. I decided to do it the other way: live in a smaller town next to forests and fields and go into big cities when I needed the activity and noise.
Reshaping the negative aura of boredom
But the real hurdle is passing this appreciation of silence on to the younger generation. My seven-year-old daughter equates silence with boredom. She craves the noise and stimulation that accompany activity.
My wife and I try to teach her that calmness and sensory experiences can be pleasurable. But so far, she doesn’t understand how it can be. And how would she? Pleasant experiences in her life have been caused by something happening: she learned something by playing, or she discovered something by going somewhere and acting on the world around her.
Human activity usually creates noises unless we purposefully try to be quiet. Silence for my daughter is not associated with anything except maybe sleeping. And sleeping is boring, too, even though she has no memory of her sleeping time.
So we took an intermediary step and exposed her to listening to stories while sitting or lying still. We use a Toniebox, which is a player that she can manipulate easily and which has a collection of narrated fairy tales and kids’ stories. She is still doing something relatively active but at least learns to concentrate on the sound, let her mind wander a bit, and visualize the story in her mind.
We hope to convince her over time that silence and boredom are sometimes OK.
I believe the key to appreciating the benefits of silence for adults and kids alike is redefining our relationship with boredom. Kids and adults should see those silent and dull moments as fertile ground for whatever they want to do next—inspiration for drawing, talking, or trying something new.
We should prefer activities where we are in the driving seat and create and act on the world. They benefit the most from silence and boredom. They work in tandem.
Passively experiencing sensory streams of audio and video are unlikely to unlock the benefits of silence and mind wandering. Our brains often do not know what to do with themselves after such passive periods. This is what I experience whenever I come out of immersive cinema experiences. 15-20 minutes after a movie, I still feel like I am readjusting to light and sound in the real world.
Let's celebrate silence not as the absence of noise but as the presence of possibility. If we want to create or build anything, we need those moments where we gather our inspiration.
Perhaps we should think of our lives as music, where moments of silence and noise coexist in harmony. We can achieve inner peace and unleash our true potential by finding the right balance between them. So, go-ahead and make some noise, but don't forget to pause and appreciate the beauty of silence, too.